I’ve written about parenting before, but never from this perspective. Parenting is the most difficult yet most amazing experience of my life. Even after spending so many lifetimes together, like my daughter and I have, there is still so much to learn. I only remember the lifetime prior to this one, we were brothers, with me being the oldest. Weird, huh?
When we are born into a new lifetime, we have to learn life all over again. She and I have never been mother and daughter before, so this is all new to us. It took me a really long time to get this mother thing down. I thought I was doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing and how it was supposed to be done. Ugh, I was so fuckin’ wrong.
Come and talk to me…
It took so much pain and tears to be able to get it right, or at least be on a better and healthier parenting path. My daughter has taught me practically everything I need to know about being a parent to her. The 2 most important lessons I have learned are:
There is no universal parenting law.
Listen to your child, they are literally screaming at us with what they need from us as their parents.
My daughter and I have come a LONG way over the years, most recently making the most progress. In that time, she and I have created our own mother/daughter relationship that doesn’t look like anyone else’s…not even close. That doesn’t mean it’s better or worse, it means it’s ours and only ours. There is a tremendous amount of respect, understanding and communication, with an emphasis on all of those. Of course we have our share of conflict resolution, we are human! Definitely magical, but still human.
My daughter knows she can ALWAYS come to me, no matter what, and I remind her of that every single day.
Come and talk to me…
With the world being so full of shit, I teach my daughter how to move through life. Being a young lady in the Mexican culture, there is ALWAYS someone with some shit to say about her. From family to friends, to strangers, etc. It has even gone so far as her friend’s parents having something to say about her because of the way she chooses to carry herself without having even met her. I have taught my daughter to make choices for her highest and greatest good, with her self – respect being first on the list in her life. She understands every choice we make in life comes with responsibility. And as long as she and I are communicating, she doesn’t really need to worry about anyone else’s opinion.
Come and talk to me…
Having said that, we get a lot of shit from folks. They don’t like the way she dresses, her dating life, her words, etc., etc. First of all, fuck you and secondly, fuck you. What folks don’t understand is that she and I ACTUALLY talk. They also fail to understand that how they choose to parent their children has absolutely nothing to do with my daughter, so take that judgmental shit somewhere else. Don’t you dare body shame my daughter because she chooses to wear fitted clothes. Don’t you dare belittle my daughter because your child’s relationship doesn’t look like hers. Don’t you dare talk shit to her because she treats you the way you treat her.
Come and talk to me…
I am her mother, so you already know better than to do any of that nonsense. I have taught my daughter to advocate for herself, always. So when she returns the shit talking and disrespect you are giving her, don’t act brand new. It doesn’t matter if you are brother, aunt, cousin, friend, teacher (for example), she will absolutely reciprocate. And in the event you have an issue with her, whatever it may be, come and talk to me. I’m right here. Contrary to popular belief, no I will not get mad, tell you off or beat you up (unless necessary of course). I am all about communication, so there’s no reason you can’t come to me.
Be respectful to her, she is a person just like you and there’s no reason to treat her less than simply because she isn’t an adult or because she doesn’t act the way you would like or expect her to. That shit is for the fuckin’ birds!
Come and talk to me…
I am writing this, not only because of my daughter’s experiences, but because of how we look at how everyone else is raising their children. We are so busy judging these kids and their parents that we overlook and miss what is happening to our own children. The snide remarks we make to kids really do have an affect on them, so stop it. What is so wrong with respecting kids, ESPECIALLY teenagers?! Get it together folks and do better. We have to.
Come and talk to me…
To our children and all the respect they deserve!
With Love and Divine Feminine Strength.
Yours Truly,
Anna R.
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