Parenting

Hello! It’s been so long since I’ve shared with you all. It has been a time of reflection, shadow work, revelation and challenges. None of which are bad, all of which are teaching and empowering.

My biggest challenge has been parenting. I have been so stuck in my ways that I have failed to see how much all of it is affecting my daughter.

My daughter – my reason for living. Aisha Kauhli Romero.

I was raised in a very strict household. My mother always ensuring we understood it was her way – and that’s it. There was no other way or the highway. Her way and that’s it. I didn’t know anything different until I reached high school. It was then that I realized there was a whole world of “other ways”. I rebelled a bit, but not like some of my peers. I had friends that were running away from home because they got into arguments with their parents. That blew my mind!! I would never do that, ever. It was then that I also realized my home life was completely different than those same peers.

What I have learned from my upbringing is that I utilize the same techniques and approaches my mother used with me. I love them! They are fantastic and make it super clear as to what the rules were, what was acceptable and what was expected of me. However, what I have learned as a parent is that my daughter isn’t me. What does that mean? Well, it means that shit doesn’t fly with her. Not in the sense of her not putting up with it, but rather, in the sense that her heart, soul and mind require a different approach in order to instill the same values that were instilled in me. The ride growing up was extremely bumpy and I’m grateful for that. Aside from a few ass whoopins I 100% deserved, I had a damn good childhood. And I want the same for my daughter. That may sound like a contradiction, but it really isn’t. What I mean by bumpy is that it was difficult for me to understand lessons because I wasn’t able to see the big picture. Why, you ask? Well because teenagers don’t have the same size picture as their parents. They have lots of life to reference whereas we only have what we are currently creating (I am speaking of myself in the teen years, obviously). Now having said that, these last few months have truly been eye opening for me. Because while my overall goal has remained the same, the details I’ve created to obtain that goal are taking me in a completely different direction. It’s like wanting to go to the beach and ending up in the Everglades. Crocodiles (or may alligators, not sure which it is for them there glades) and all! Shit has been wild. We have argued, cried, yelled and created and dwelled in anger so many times. It has become detrimental to our health.

I’m certain some of you are thinking this is all part of growing up and our children going through the teenage years. And I agree, to an extent. Yes, there will be arguments, misunderstandings, groundings, etc, etc. But, I am not okay with any of that being detrimental or destroying our relationship. So what is there to do? How the hell do I fix what I am literally tearing apart? Life…sucks sometimes, right?

Life can absolutely suck sometimes, I don’t have a problem with that. But what I do have a problem with is it sucking when it involves my daughter. My goal in life, in regards to my daughter, is to teach her and provide her with the tools and resources to care, love and respect herself, always. Stand in her divine feminine strength, be of service to others as well as herself and love unconditionally (this does not mean losing sight of her own self respect for the sake of loving someone else unconditionally). And if my choices are resulting in sucky shit between me and her, then I am clearly doing something wrong. I want to empower her more than I ground her. I want to be a resource for her more than we argue. I want to envelop her in light more than darkness. I want to be her cheerleader more than her warden. I cannot continue to stay stuck in my old ways for the sake of ego and risk losing my daughter to the effed up world that awaits her. I will not feed my daughter to the wolves.

Alright, nice speech, right? But what does it all mean? *Deep and releasing breath* Message from spirit talks about being flexible and compromising. The Universe will continue to bring about lessons that I need to learn in order for me to finally choose differently. It is very difficult for me to release my old ways and be open to something different when it comes to parenting. My biggest fear is raising my daughter to be every thing opposite to what I just mentioned. And that is why I have convinced myself that I cannot loosen the grip. Well, fortunately the Universe continues to look out for my highest and greatest good and has presented me with the fiasco of the last couple of months. And as a result, I can now finally hear the damn message through my daughter’s behavior. How can I provide my daughter with what she needs to grow as a person if I don’t listen? If I don’t choose to be flexible, my rigidity is going to shatter our relationship – permanently.

And so here I am…smack dab in the middle of parenting 101 – listen to your children. Their actions speak loud and clear. All we have to do is shut the hell up for a few moments and really see and hear them. I always tell my daughter “mi vida, this is the first time being your mommy, bear with me”. And she always responds with “mommy, this is my first time being your daughter, help me too”. We have been friends and brothers in past lifetimes, but never mother and daughter. A new journey for us both.
Moral of the story: listen and be open to compromise. Your relationship with your children depends on it.

To our children!

With Love and Divine Feminine Strength.
Yours Truly,
Anna R.
Feel free to reach out to me, at any time.